Memorial to Leah Dettling, friend and mentor.

Some of you have heard about a recent friend of mine who passed away and some of you have been praying with me for months now for her. I thought that I would tell you a bit about her and how she impacted me in light of her passing. I would have loved to be at her memorial service this Saturday, but time and money are in lack. This blog is my poor attempt to offer my thanks to her and pay honor where honor is due.


I owe Leah my life.
I was a punk teenager who only cared about making myself feel good and making myself look good. A series of Divinely planned steps and seemingly irrational choices landed me in Australia in 2006 on the Music Arts and Dance Discipleship Training School. I didn't care about God, I cared about music. I was there because I wanted to travel and do music and I knew my parents would pay my way if it was through YWAM.

Leah taught the first week of my DTS. On the first day, I was struck by her passion. The power of her words were nailing me in the heart, leaving me with very little intellectual knowledge and very much emotional turmoil. On the second day, I was on the floor waiting for some sign from God that He was real when Leah began weeping over the state of my soul. We were both kneeling, she had her hand on my back, and started speaking my Father's heart to me. The whole week she kept saying, "In order to know God, you can't just know in your head-- you have to know by experience." On that day she wept over me, I asked for God to give me that fire-- I asked for a new, real faith. I asked for Him to never let go. He responded with 7 months of outrageously good experiences. By the end of that time, I saw a glimpse of His heart and it was enough to steal away all other desires. Leah was the one who obeyed Him and allowed herself to be broken over me.

Several other Divinely constructed encounters led to me coming back to that same YWAM base to do a Basic Leadership School, of which Leah was the leader. Getting God-provision and favor landed me in a classroom with this zealous woman of God, Leah. She taught on humility. She taught on the goodness of God. She taught on authority. She taught me how to hear the voice of God. She taught me how to have faith even in the darkest storms of life. And then she taught me how to teach and how to lead. She threw me into circumstances where I had the chance to try my wings out. Every time I fell I would find her and we would talk about it.

When we weren't doing the deep, ministry stuff, we were laughing. You see, Leah loved fun. She thrived on it and longed for it because of the intense community we lived in and all the pressures thereof. Game nights at her house were amazing and frequent and the food.. Ah, the food.. She was a really amazing cook. I always tried to steal a bite of her lunch that she brought to base. My seat of choice during lectures was next to Leah (so that I could have fun) and my afternoon of choice was distracting her from her paperwork (so that she could have fun). I made it my personal goal to get Leah to quit the serious stuff and just have a laugh with me-- or a coffee-- I loved getting her to relax.

There are literally countless times where Leah led friends and students into the presence of God in worship and intercession. There are literally countless of times where Leah would weep over people exemplifying the heart of God, or when she would lead us in repentance. She taught me that honesty and vulnerability are the tools of humility.

I had the privilege to learn about how God speaks-- especially through the mode of dreams and interpreting these mysterious sayings from Him. I had the honor to help her process some of her own dreams. She even invited me to help her lead prophetic outreaches in the local area, and allowed me to get my feet wet with risk. The prophetic came alive to me under her leadership, and for that I remain extremely grateful.

One moment, that I hope I never forget: My friend and I had been hosting 'worship nights' in the local community center. We would sing and do our thing, and then give people words and prayer ministry. We had experienced three or four amazing nights where it seemed that we ministered under the anointing with such easy and accuracy.. It was so amazing in fact, I indulged my thought life in becoming extremely pleased in the way I had been such an amazing prophetic, anointed dude. Man, I was one gifted guy. Leah came to one of the last meetings we held. As people were walking in, we were enjoying the presence of God, but for some reason I though I wasn't singing loud enough. And then I remembered that I thought it was ME that had brought all the anointing and glory-- I mean, I was just so dang special, right? Did I mentioned I had just finished a worship school?

So I stood up and started singing loud and dancing around. Nothing happened. No crazy overwhelming Presence entered the room. No anointing flowed. No awesome accurate words flowed. It was just me and a guitar trying to conjure up a sweet spiritual experience, and nothing happened. So I sat down.

Then Leah came over. She wept. And wept. And wept. And started asking the Father to bring the fear of God on my life. And then I wept. And wept. And wept. And we wept. And wept. In that moment, I realized that I had fallen into a pithole. My heart was feeding off of how people had esteemed me as a powerful worship leader and prophetic minister. My heart was loving being the center of attention. And in that moment with Leah by my side the revelation dawned: My heart needed Someone that could give true love and satisfaction. And, I can honestly say, that I have remained changed from that encounter.

It's hard to put into words the affection and love I feel for Leah. I spent a little over a year and half getting to know her as a friend and mentor. Even though that is a short time in comparison to some, a lot of what I know about God I have experienced either with her or through her and the crazy thing is that I am not the only one who can say that. There are dozens, probably hundreds, who have experienced the love of God in equal if not greater ways through her-- many have found inner healing with her, deliverance, physical healing, and/or a faithful friend in her.

The one thing that I saw in her life that I have adopted as my own: honesty. She refused to be fake with God. She refused to be okay with what she didn't understand. She was okay with being angry. She related to Him much like a girl would relate to her Father or Friend-- much like we're supposed to. Once I saw that God not only was okay with this (see all of the Psalms for evidence of this), but even invited it, I ran with it and my life has been the better for it. Nothing invites intimacy with God like honesty.

Leah Dettling is my personal hero. She fought even when things didn't seem worth fighting for. She dreamed, even when it seemed impossible. She prayed even when it felt hopeless. She loved even when she didn't feel that loved. There are no words that can express the loss that the world has as a result of her death. But this one thing I know for certain: While one hero died this last week, many that were touched by her will be raised up into the same strength, if not greater, and will change the course of history. I kid you not. Her influence and legacy lives on in every heart that she touched and spoke into, and our world experienced more of heaven's love because of it. We won't know the true fruit of all her labors until Eternity, but mark my words: the kingdom of darkness will reap greater loss in the years to come as the people whom Leah ministered to raise into their own and become a hero in the Spirit much like she was.

The world lost an amazing woman of God, but heaven received a beautiful faithful, loving princess with joy and there is a party going on. A crazy party is going on in heaven right now and Jesus is rejoicing, dancing and singing over His faithful servant, friend, and lover: Leah Dettling.

Blessings,
K.